© Liliane Limpens Insight View 1 december 2017

Right Partner

 
   
     
  Your fears are right: you won’t find the right partner, because the right partner doesn't really exist.  
 

Anyone, however lovely they seem at first, will turn out to be maddening, difficult and deeply

 
 

disappointing in a few – but to you very important – ways.

 
     
 

You are carrying the burden of Romanticism and are suffering from it gravely.

 
 

You have been made sick by the beguiling – but fatally oppressive – fantasy that there’s a specific

 
  person you are meant to be with who will end the longing, who will be your soul-mate, sexual  
  companion, [...] and best friend.  
     
  An important factor – behind almost any decent relationship – is the capacity of each partner to  
  manage cheerfully on their own. Relationships don’t solve the problem of loneliness for very long.  
     
  Stop looking for a perfect partner and start looking for that far nicer and more enticing prospect:  
  a good enough one. Hopefully, the long painful single period hasn’t just been wasted time.  
  It’s been a training ground for the true spirit of compromise and gratitude that lasting love demands.  
     
 

Alain de Botton    

 
 

Home

Base of All

Leven Liefde

Bewegen

Aarde

Alain de Botton

Lachen

Dieren

Wise

Psychologie

Buitenaards

Labour

Female

Contact