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Your fears are right: you won’t find the right partner,
because the right partner doesn't really exist. |
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Anyone, however lovely they seem at first, will turn out
to be maddening, difficult and deeply |
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disappointing in a few – but to you very important
– ways. |
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You are carrying the burden of Romanticism and are
suffering from it gravely. |
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You have been made sick by the beguiling – but fatally
oppressive – fantasy that there’s a specific |
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person you are meant to be with who will end the longing, who
will be your soul-mate, sexual |
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companion, [...] and best friend. |
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An important factor – behind almost any decent
relationship – is the capacity of each partner to |
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manage cheerfully on
their own. Relationships don’t solve the problem of loneliness for very
long. |
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Stop looking for a perfect partner and start looking for
that far nicer and more enticing prospect: |
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a good enough one. Hopefully, the long painful single period hasn’t just
been wasted time. |
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It’s been a training ground for the true spirit of
compromise and gratitude that lasting love demands. |
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Alain de Botton
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